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    Felicitari recomandate de Ziua Pacalelilor (1 Aprilie) :

     

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    4128

    Bancuri adaugate de utilizatorul admin (1817 bancuri) - Pagina 27


    If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it`s beef.

    1130


    When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says ``Go``. This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

    1171


    Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

    881


    Chuck Norris once devoured a whole wheel-barrow full of clay to prove to a friend that the expression ``Shitting bricks`` wasn`t just a figure of speech.

    894


    The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris.

    922


    Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

    864


    Chuck Norris doesn`t play ``hide-and-seek.`` He plays ``hide-and-pray-I-don`t-find-you.``

    1097


    ADD is not a disease. It`s just impossible to focus when you know that Chuck Norris could strike at any moment.

    1096


    The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

    1109


    We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, ``Please don`t kill me.`` Too bad Chuck Norris doesn`t believe in magic.

    1225


    The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

    918


    Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

    902


    When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines.

    1082


    Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

    772


    Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren`t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

    1009
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