Un politist, patruland prin parc, il vede pe dom` profesor citind.
- Ce citesti, ba?
- Logica!
- Ce-i aia?
- Pai, cum sa-ti explic...Tu ai acasa un acvariu?
- Da!
- Deci iti plac pestii!
- Da!
- Deci pescuiesti!
- Da!
- Deci mananci peste!
- Sigur!
- Atunci bei si un vin bun!
- Clar!
- Atunci iti vi...

In sesiune Dumnezeu il trimite pe Sf. Petru sa vada ce fac studentii de la diferite facultati. Se intoarce Sf. Petru si da raportul:
- Studentii de la Medicina invata pe rupte, studentii de la ASE invata pe rupte, studentii de la Politehnica dau petreceri, beau si se distreaza.
Dupa o vreme, Dumnez...

Un englez, un francez si un ungur, intr-un avion
care se prabusea.
Englezul:
- Inger, Ingerasul Meu...
Ingerul:
- Sari!
Sare englezul, cade intr-un lac si scapa cu
viata.
Francezul:
- Inger, Ingerasul Meu...
Ingerul:
- Sari!
Sare francezul, cade pe o capita de fan si scapa
si el.
Ungurul:
- Ing...

La sedinta Consiliului Local Cluj, un consilier
propune:
- Eu zic sa mai facem o statuie in orasul
nostru.
Imediat vin ideile:
- Sa fie o statuie cu taranul roman!
- Sa fie taranul imbracat in costum national!
- In mana dreapta sa aiba o furca, sa se lupte cu
ungurii!
- In mana stanga sa aiba un str...

Patru unguri si 4 romani pleaca cu trenul de la
Cluj la Bucuresti.
In gara, ungurii isi iau fiecare bilet, romanii
isi iau toti un singur bilet.
In tren, cand vine nasu` ungurii dau biletele,
iar romanii se ascund in WC.
Bate nasu in usa WC-ului, iese o mana cu biletul,
il composteaza nasu` , si ...

Vin Diesel has a baseball cap made entirely out of ham.

Vin Diesel was the culprit who ate Gilbert Grape. He would later describe the experience as ``Similar in texture to panda meat , but not without its charms.``

Vin Diesel can tell how something tastes simply by touching it.

Vin Diesel likes to wear PVC because it wipes down easy.

Vin Diesel is actually an incarnation of the Messiah, but he postponed the second coming to film `Fast & Furious 3`.

Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.

Vin Diesel could never get the hang of Thursdays either.

Vin Diesel is currently working an internship with the Frank Gehry architecture partnership, he intends to play a key role in the design of the new King Alfred Swimming Pool complex in Brighton, England. On the opening night of the project he will secret

Once Vin Diesel had an epiphany and it resulted with the manifestation of all 57 varieties of Heinz (including the green and purple ketchup).

Vin Diesel is the son of Nostradamus and Jessica Simpson. It is unclear whether he inherited his good looks from his mother and his intelligence from of his father, or vice versa.